Life's good, right? I mean, I wake up every day, I haven't heard anything bad from any doctor, my son's fixin' to graduate from college, I got a roof over my head, food to eat, and a vehicle to drive. And I got my stinkin' money from the "powers that be". I should be ecstatic, shouldn't I? Then why is it, that I find little to no joy in anything? That my mood seems to darken more and more, with each passing hour. WTF?
I pray, and ask God to lift me out of this, what can only be described as "depression". And I can feel fleeting moments of happiness, like when I found out I was gettin' my refund, but it never lasts. And soon, I feel down again. And I mope around, feeling sorry for myself, til I can't stand myself any longer, and just go to bed. I know what the catalyst to all of this was, and I knew it would take a minute to get over, but shit, I didn't have a clue, it was goin' to take me this far down this road. And it's not fair, none of it. I didn't cause this, and I'm damn sure, it would've happened sooner or later anyway. But you'd think, even knowin' that, that I couldn't WILL myself, better!?!
WTF has such a hold on me? Him? WHY??? He doesn't deserve a second thought. He hurt me, badly, and yet, I still love him. I can't switch it off. I've tried. How the hell do I just stop?
Ridin' would help. Gettin laid, wouldn't, for a vast number of reasons. I'm not the same person anymore. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I'm mourning for the person who was really tossed.
Hang in there.Your life is as depressing as you concieve it,take it from someone who has struggled thru a long series of depressing events. You can and will overcome this feeling of disconnected space,once you decide to move in a new direction,away... more
June 15, 2012- -
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June 15, 2012- -
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June 17, 2012- -
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Then, when it happens say "There it is!"
Remember when Capt Jack Sparrow only had that lil sailing dingy? He was still the Captain... Right?
You are the Captain of you life... yes?... more
June 27, 2012- -
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