Death is a LIE

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  Posted by Tweek October 15, 2014 - Filed in Personal Journal - 1,851 views
  

   Talkin' about it, is the only RELIEF valve that has EVER worked for me.  But it took me, most of my adult LIFE to understand that.
  
  Like Vietnam Vets, I kept my  "world"  life, secret.  I felt ashamed.  Not so much for what I did.  As what was done to ME.
  I didn't go thru the trauma you did, Edge.  But mine was no less traumatic.  
  The youngest child of four, I witnessed my parents disintegration at the tender age of five.  Adultery,  Hatred.  LIES.
  
  My Mom, became a single parent, (not-by-choice), and we went from being a fairly "affluent" familly of six, to a household of three, in 
  what, can only be described...as the housing projects of the time.  (In the late Sixties)
  
  She also became a total and complete alcoholic.  
  My dad's betrayal was so devastating to her, it led to a LIFE-TIME of consequences, for the rest of us.
  
  You see, my dad's "mistress", couldn't reconcile my father paying "child support".  So they devised a plan to make my Mother
  incompetent. And gain custody.  ALL, so they wouldn't have to pay the "outrageous sum" of $50 a month...for both, me...and my brother.
  
  The other siblings married off, before the divorce, so it was just Mom, me, and my brother.
  They succeeded briefly enough that my Mom was incarcerated into a Mental Facility, where they gave her SHOCK TREATMENT.
  All, while my brother, and I watched,  as it all unfolded,  And could only pray, for a good outcome.  
  
  Needless to say, my Mom, was NEVER the same.  Her alcoholism only increased, after that final blow, from my dad.
  He took custody of us, less than two years later.
  
  Where, at the age of fifteen...I was raped, got pregnant, and was forced to abort an innocent child.
  Need I go on???
  
  I guess my point is...
  that we have to be responsible, at some point for HOW we react.
  
  I became an alcoholic/drug addict/permiscuous, out of control young woman!
  The biker bitch, from HELL.  None of you, would've wanted to know me....then.
  I have to believe, everything happened for a REASON.
  
  I am now thankful, for everything GOD has seen me through.
  I shouldn't be here.  BUT, I AM.
  I should've died...many, many times.  But I didn't.
  
  Because of what I've been through?  I teach others.  I relate.  I KNOW THEIR PAIN.
  And I have the unique ability to get thru to them, where many others have failed.
  Feel me?
  
  TESTIMONY.  Livin', breathin', been there done that relateability.  It is the ABILITY to share,
  that makes us all HUMAN. 
  
  NO man, OR woman, is an ISLAND.  
  We aren't meant to be ALONE.
  
  And sharing works two-fold.  Like I said...we NEED to talk about stuff.
  WE NEED TO BE HEARD.  Listened to.  Shown someone G'SAF...Feel me?
  
  That's why I love Ya'll, and that's why I'll always come home.
  Even if, it's brief, or fer and few.  It's still my home.
  
  And I dunno, bout YOU?  But I ain't near ready to cash in, just yet.  
  
  Thanks, CYCLEFISH!