Here's a few hand-picked quotes and who said them to start your New Year out on the right foot! (or the left foot, whichever you use).


Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
-Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
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  I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.  But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue:   'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'  
- Eleanor Roosevelt  
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen.  I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. 
- Mark Twain
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
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Be careful about reading health books.  You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
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By all means, marry.  If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
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I was married by a judge.  I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.  Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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  Money can't buy you happiness. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- Joe Namath
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I don't feel old.  I don't feel anything until noon.  Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields
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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. 
- Will Rogers 
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation.   As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal

Hope you all enjoyed these as much as I did!
Edge.... of the New Year

Nice ones Edge n happy new year ;oD

I had to share these on FB. Thanks.

Jon

LOL Happy New Year Edge!!!

good post ! hope the new year is treating you well !

"knowledge does not come to us by details,but in flashes of light from heaven"
-Henry D Thoreau

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called “Opportunity” and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.

Edith L. Pierce

Alot of good ones from the masters of the one liners

Those are some good ones!

nice...thanks edge...happy new year to you.......