May 21, 2012 10:55 AM PDT
A woman goes into Discount Fishing Supplies to buy a rod and reel for her
grandson's birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get, so she just picks one and goes over to
the counter
The salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.
She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the
counter,I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound
it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel
and 10-lb.Test line. It's a good all around combination, and it's actually
on sale this week for $44."
She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that, just by the sound of
it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor
"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.
As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts.
At first she's really embarrassed, but then realises there is no way the
blind salesman would tell exactly who had farted.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $58.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks,
"Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $44. How did you get $58.50?"
"The Duck Caller is $11, and the Fish Bait is $3.50."
May 21, 2012 10:59 AM PDT
Only familiar w a slightly more vulgar variant, dealing w/ grading lumber. - Will spare Lucky the pain of taking it down.
Thanks for the reminder, got 2 giggles out of 1 read
May 21, 2012 10:59 AM PDT
The Haircut
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he
asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money
from you; I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was
pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the
next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for
him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing
community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The
next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you'
card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.
Then an MP came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the
barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing
community service this week.' The MP was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen
MPs lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the
citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
BOTH POLITICIANS AND NAPPIES NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!
If you don't forward this you have no sense of humour. Nothing bad will
happen, however, you must live with yourself knowing that laughter is
not in your future. Now send it to everyone you know….
May 21, 2012 11:06 AM PDT
Weirdly comforting to know that in the cradle of nations things are the same as they are here
May 21, 2012 11:12 AM PDT
Oh yes mate...lol...and we have the right to vote for them...lol...or not!!!
May 21, 2012 11:21 AM PDT
Now on its 5th day here I have been trying to get it flying...lol...
May 24, 2012 12:15 PM PDT
I like the jokes but the bird wins,lol, Just a sucker for animals
Ok, that was funny and I don't give a damn, who ya are...
Jet, you really shouldn't pizz off the little pecker...you gotta sleep sometime. LMAO!
Ride Free
Tweek