May 23, 2012 11:47 AM PDT
It's ok, Ya'll...it was that time, again.
Ride Free
Tweek
You are doing well, kid - Keep it up
Well Sweetie, unfortunately bad things happen to good people. When we take the leap into being good and stopping our bad habits, there is a force that wants to see if it can totally mess us up. I guess it is sorta like paying our dues for our past. Never think you are the only one that let their kids down in one way or another. So we go to work everyday and give them all they want, how much time is left for them? What have they learned? It is really hard to balance out our lives. Probably the hardest thing there is to do.
Our kids have gone through all this crap with us. They have a knowledge that kids that have an easy life do not, and they still love us. That is the good news. Yeah they have scars but they will survive and they will be better for their experiences. Don't kick yourself so much. You are doing the BEST that you can now and that is ALL you can do. There is no way to go back and change anything, so why kick yourself now? Just keep up the good work that you are doing and it will be ok I promise...
May 23, 2012 10:17 PM PDT
Tweek,
Paula and DebraJo nailed it. The turnaround you've made AND CONTINUE to do is amazing. So many never have the courage or motivation it takes to do it. Things may not turn out like we want them to, but if we know we did all we can, we have nothing to be ashamed of. So many young people these days never get to experience the love you have given to your son. Most just get some money tossed to them to get them outta their parents' hair. Although he may not have the material things you'd like to have given him. a mother's love is priceless.
Hang tough! I'm cheering you on!
MSG Bigg
May 23, 2012 10:45 PM PDT
Tweek,
I agree with everyone. You have already given your son a great gift. His mother clean for 3 1/2 years! that is the greatest gift you can give your son! He will charish it for the rest of his life. I hear you on wanting to give him material things, but you need to remember they are just things, and what will stick with him is your love and support, and he's got his mom back in his life. Keep up the good work! as for the grad party invite close friends and make it a pot luck, have everyone bring a dish to share.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Mary
Thanks all. I'm just goin' thru some stuff right now. AND...worry is my middle name. It sucks. So if ya believe in this sorta thing, say a prayer for me. My son, will be fine. He says I worry too much...lol
Ride Free
Tweek
I've been there in a different way.
In 2008 life was going well for my boy and I. I was working we had a place. I started running races and brought him along to cheer me on. During my first 1/2 marathon he got excited because he saw runners could win a superman medal. The catch was, to win that medal I had to run 6 races (5 half-marathons and 1 marathon). I thought about it for a day and then I told him I would do it. In a way it's kind of crazy, running 13+ mile races, just because my boy wanted to brag to his friends that his mom had a superman medal. But I did it.
After that year times got tough... I lost my job, my relationship, our home but we had each other and we made the of best of the circumstances we had. I came back to school trying to get my life together but as a full-time student with no job money was more than tight, sometimes it just wasn't there.
Last year, I could feel the guilt inside me as his 20th birthday approached. The only thing I could give him? I wrapped up that superman medal from 2008 with all my love and hoped he would understand the meaning of it. In the card I gave him I wrote of how proud I was of him and how much I loved him and how happy I was that he was in my life and how sorry I was I couldn't give him more. I watched him open that present with a mixture of concern but seeing his eyes light up and that broad smile when he recognized the medal eased my worry.
This year for mothers day he gave me a card that made me laugh (it said: Everyone thinks their mom is the best but I'm the only one that's always right) and made me cry (he wrote: I love you so much mom, I'm glad I've had you to raise me and help along in life. You've helped show me a lot, and for the most part made me the man I am today.)
Reading that card made me realize 'he gets it'. I know your son does too. They see us struggle, they see how much we love them. They are our boys, but they become such independent strong men and make us proud.
Love to you sister. Love to your boy. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
June 12, 2012 1:32 AM PDT
Tweek remember you're among friends and your friends are bikers! How much better does it get?
June 12, 2012 2:59 AM PDT
Tweek, you got him this far, graduation. That is not a failure.
June 12, 2012 5:53 AM PDT
@Tweek *yay* for the awesome news! This post makes me smile deep inside my heart. Happy for you whatever it is. Go ahead and be the proud mom, no matter what you think your life has been, you earned this just as much as your boy!
@PaulaL12562 Sorry, for the tears, you can give me that punch on the arm *lol* but then I'm going to follow it with a great big hug sister! L&R to you.
June 12, 2012 10:36 AM PDT
I like the sound of this Tweek!
June 12, 2012 11:24 AM PDT
....its so cool to see your kids do good ;~).... Congratulations!
He had to take a step-down to an Associate's Degree, due to something in MY past that prevented this year's loans from being approved. But, considering he might've had to drop out, had my brother not stepped up to the plate to help, at least he will get a degree. 
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Your son would NOT have gotten as far as he did without your love & support, be encouraged by that! June 15th is still 3 weeks away! Continue to Praise Him through the storm! It's so easy to give thanks when the going's good! My thoughts and Prayers are with you on this! (an btw, this IS the place for sayin whats in your heart)
LOL just kiddin SuperMom!! 
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