> his attorney. 
> Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it 
> appears that you live at a much higher level than your reported 
> employment 
> income.How do you explain that?" 
> 
> Ralph replied, "I love to gamble and I usually win." 
> 
> The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look. 
> 
> I can prove it," said Ralph. "How about a demonstration?" 
> The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead." 
> Ralph said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my 
> own eye." 
> The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!" 
> Ralph removed his glass eye and bit it. 
> The official's jaw dropped. Ralph said, "Now, I'll bet you two 
> thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." 
> The official could tell Ralph wasn't blind, so he took the bet. 
> Ralph then removed his dentures and bit his good eye. 
> The stunned official was now three grand in the hole! 
> Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asked. "I'll bet you six 
> thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and **** into that 
> wastebasket by the door over there and never get a drop anywhere in 
> between." 
> 
> The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way 
> this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again! 
> 
> Ralph climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket 
> completely, and pretty much peed all over the desk. 
> The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge 
> win! But then he noticed that Ralph's attorney looked ashen and was 
> visibly shaken. "Are you okay?" he asked. 
> 
> The man replied, "Not really. Before we arrived, Ralph bet me twenty 
> thousand dollars he'd **** on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"