| Bikers New Year Resolutions |
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By BikerCrap • I resolve to fix the ol ladies pickup before I finish restoring the ol panhead. (I know I made the same resolution last year, by this year I promise) • I resolve to spend less time at the strip club with my bros and more quality time at the tavern with my ol lady. • I resolve to quit hitting on the ol ladies girlfriends. Just cuz she gets to kiss and touch them don’t mean I get to I guess. • I resolve to quit rolling home drunk in the middle of the night as much. Instead, I’ll start having the bro’s over more and just party at our pad. • I resolve that I will finally take the wheels off the mobile home. • I resolve to pay more attention to the ol lady. This way I can be sure she gets the trailer cleaned, the dishes done and gets grub on the table. • I resolve to quit waking the ol lady up at 5:30 every morning to braid my pony tail. Instead, she can run home on her brake at the strip club and do it. • I resolve to quit spending the rent money on beer. I’ll start using grocery money instead. • I resolve that I will start voting for my ol lady when she’s in the wet t-shirt contest instead of the 19 year old Barbie Dolls with plastic hooters. • I resolve to bath at least twice a week regardless if I am planning on having sex with the ol lady or not. • I resolve to treat the ol lady with as much respect as I do my bartender. • I resolve to spend less time locked up at county than I did last year. • I resolve to quit drinking on weekdays, except for Friday, which is kind of the weekend; and Wednesdays, which is meeting night at the clubhouse; and Tuesday, which is poker night at Lizards; oh and every other Thursday, which is the lunchtime lingerie show at the tavern. |