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Info
Personal Information
First Name
Sugar
Birthday
January 13, 1957
Gender
Female
Relationship Status
In Relationship
City
Portland
State
OREGON
Zip
97080
General Info
Message
They sure don't make them like they used to! Classic model Pink Cadillac now available: Vintage 1957 with one original owner. Modest mileage and engine purrs like a kitty Original ragtop, loves to be popped open on year round. A few dents and scratches but overall in Kelly Blue book FAIR to GOOD condition. Dependable, fully equipped and finely tuned. Ready to travel. No liens or trailers. Lots of rubber left on tires. Fully maintained and ready to make any short jaunt or long trip you might have in mind. Has a bit of rust under the hood but nothing that could not be sanded down with a soft touch! Occasional services are required but the best gas mileage you will get on the road in today's market! Seeks similar model 1963 - 1942, for evening drives, weekend exploring, occasional sprint races, and possible long distance road trip. Must have the ability to maintain fluid levels and use a soft cloth to wax. Someone who wants to accentuate that they don't make them like they used to and you are built to last, strong chassis, etc., A classic Rolls, not a broken down Yugo, come blow your horn at my garage. I come with some baggage as most of do but maintain good records and ready to throw it all on a roof rack and willing to dump it along the highway if you are as well to do the same. Seeking VERY tall, race or ethnicity unimportant, gainfully employed, responsible single/divorced/widowed masculine driver with loads of stamina to take me for a test drive and possible let me park next to you for a while.
Pink Princess
Usual Non's... No Cheaters, No Smoking, No Homeless, No Heavily Anything, No Felons (easily swayed), No Freaks, No Free-loaders, No Short Men, No Mama's Boy's, No Priest's, No STD's, No Knuckleheads, No Haters, No Submissive, No Crotch-rockets, No Hare Krishna, No Cross Dressers, No Mime's, No Drama! No Drama!
Sinful Imagination Required!
AFTER GREAT CONSIDERATION....
I've thought long and hard about this. I must strive to be different, for how can I expect to win the heart of a sharp, studious stallion, with the typical personal ad nauseam? Most postings such as this are merely a showcase for personal "lameitude".
My proposition is a casual dinner followed by cow tipping. I must confess that I have never tipped a cow and I am a bit unsure of how to do it appropriately. Do they expect the same 15%-20% gratuity as humans do?
I myself am 100 % grateful if you are still reading this absurd advert, for it is surely going to get worse - acute alliteration (<--See?), painful puns (are there any other kind?), impish innuendo (I'll serenade you with titillating tunes beneath your innuendo) and salacious suggestions (Lets discretely swap undergarments under the table, whilst under the influence).
When it comes to the male gender (I'm not certain why The Bard bestowed this appellation on you men, as the 'stronger sex' often doesn't play fair!) I do not discriminate. You may be refined or geeky, a knock-out, macho, nerdy, cowboy, business man, biker (a must) or comely plain. Tall men turn me on! (However remember I do not discriminate!). Age is a factor but not a guideline I adhere to… so let’s keep it real 40-70 are all realistic candidates.
What truly matters is your gray matter. An adroit, erudite, learned lad with a singular wit is most alluring. (Although there is definitely something to be said for the peaks and valleys of the entire male form!). Extra scoops if you happen to be mechanically inclined (sultry altos and a wrench in one hand always set my metronome ticking!).
I confess that I have a weakness for the bodacious, bawdy and brainy! Bookish boys stimulate me from cranium to metatarsus! (Read: head to toe!) A man who loves to explore (more than the outdoors) generally will captivate me (camping, fishing, shooting, hiking, horses, boating and lets not forget riding!) Please possess a quick, dry wit, a mischievous laugh and a flirty, dirty vernacular! This silly, sardonic scribe seeks a smart, savvy, sinful, savory, sweet, spicy and delightfully naughty partner! (Did I mention sinful?)
I haven't dated seriously (you may in some respects find me seriously dated) for quite a while and I suddenly feel the need to be annoyed, tense and disappointed, broken-hearted and abandoned, so here am I, in all of my negatory glory!
The "specs" for all of you shallow lads, one-dimensional readers: 54 years old,
5'9", platinum hair and piercing green eyes. I am not buff or toned (more the natural kind), I have no implants, botox injections, dentures or psychological pitfalls. I do however pink flesh is adorned with a history of tattoos. I come into most people’s life to ad just a bit of color! I do not look like Betty Page, Marilyn Monroe, Heidi Klum, or whomever you lads are admiring behind closed doors these days. While I have been called "cute","breath-taking","attractive", “stunning”and "curvy" by several tasteful (and a few myopic) men over the years. Think about it, it is harder to kidnap a chunky chick over a skinny one! I am not a matinee starlet, nor the poster girl for Victoria Secret. While my countenance would not completely stop a proverbial clock, you likely will not see me in any future Fredrick of Hollywood ads. I still maintain a thick head of naturally wavy hair, which is in constant flux since I am a hair fairy. My legs are long; my temper is short (only after a few martini’s). I am pretty girly-girlish, but have never had a problem getting my nails dirty. I do require supervision if libations is induced (unless you can afford bail)…. I defend my partner to the end, I am loyal, monogamous, genuine, and painfully honest and request the same. I am a recovered divorcee, have wonderful children (grown), working class, pryncess complex that is seeking a long haul partner verses a trail ride.
I am drawn to the world-weary, quick witted, artistic, intellectual genre. The ability to sustain a meaningful conversation about nature, travel, music, literature, art, world events and history will impress me much more than your boy-toys. I enjoy parody, satire, Britcoms and screwball romantic comedies and sundance films. I take great pride and pleasure in my culinary skills and enjoy entertaining. Weather it is leg of lamb or home-made chili or a open fire I am up for the challenge… Some may refer to me as a culinazi. I am also something of a writer (published), I frequently engage in pen nonsense, poetry, prose’s, short stories and maudlin romance and explicit erotica.
If you live in a trailer, forget it. Dimwits, knuck-heads and rednecks need not apply, nor abusers or felons. (ok even I have spent a night or two in the pokey so I will take all things into consideration). Being a motorcycle enthusiast MUST run thick in your veins! I live for wind therapy!
If you happen to be un-kept, un-clean or, rarely shower, do not change your clothes then read Emily Post before you write to me.
I enjoy GOOD music (Country, Blues, Jazz, and other garbage bereft of soul or melody), trading quips and puns over a bottle of gin, and tantalizing, confident kisses.
I do believe in love-at-first-grope (or sight), but I've had my heart singed, scorched and charred a few times, so I remain perspicacious and have implanted an asbestos insulated pericardium!
My final request is that you include a photograph of yourself with your response. This is not so much vanity as it may appear. I simply like to put words with a face.
So that's all for now (isn't that enough?). I hope you've made it through this nutty novelette and if you found it at all tempting or tasty do indeed write!
