After my husband of 25 years and I decided to go our separate ways, I was totally devastated. All I could think was, “who would want to go out with a person that couldn’t make a 25 year marriage last?” So, for a long time I didn’t date and pretty much kept out of site. I didn’t want to explain to anybody what happens that destroys a 25 year marriage and you just can’t explain it in two sentences or less.
One day I was in a local bar and this guy asked me to dinner, I told him, "I don’t date”. He said, “Ok, we won’t call it a date, it’s pizza between two friends”. So we went to dinner and I realized I really liked him and he liked me. At dinner he revealed that when he first saw my ex and I at the bar, he didn’t know we were married because we’d come in and go separate ways with different friends. I was shocked; I assumed everybody knew we were a couple. He and I got serious with one another pretty fast and he did all those things that my ex never did like open the car door for me, helped me with my coat, shared a love of wine (he is a true biker, so the wine part was a big surprise), held my hand and even kissed me in public. I had a real confidence problem and one day he made me stand in front of him and he kissed me all over and told me a story of why he loved every part of me. We were great together for a while, but then our past relationships started over to over shadow our current relationship. He had been in a terrible bike accident the year before and his fiancé was killed. Of course I had my 25 year issues. When we came to the point of knowing our relationship was not going to last, we broke-up at an outside bar sitting across from each other. He says to me, “You are so beautiful; I could sit and look at you all day, and this is what I’m going to miss the most”.
There are good and bad break-ups, but I write this to encourage people to be kind to one another. He and I haven’t seen each other for months and probably never will, he lives several hours away, so it’s not like we’ll run into each other at the grocery store. But the wonderful parting words he left me with gives me hope that somebody else will think the same way someday and I’ll start a new chapter hopefully with more confidence!
I feel fortunate that my nearly 30 yr... more
January 29, 2012- -
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