Nuthin' personal...

    • 9 posts
    February 16, 2012 11:40 PM PST

    This is to put that roommate of mine into perspective...and it's funnier than chit.  Have a great weekend, YA'LL!






    Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
    A: It takes too long to retrain them.
     

    Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
    A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
     

    Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
    A: There's white-out on the screen.
    Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
    A: There's writing on the white-out.
     

    Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
    A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
     

    Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
    A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.
     

    Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
    A: For throwing out the W's.
     

    Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
    A: Branch Manager.
     

    Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
    A: One that never misses a period.
     

    Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
    A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
     

    Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
    A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.
     

    Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her name tag) ?
    A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"

     

    A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"  The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
    "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
     

    Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist?
    A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
     

    Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
    A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
     

    Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
    A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
     

    Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
    A: She has a checkbook.
     

    Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
    A: There is a stamp on it.
     

    A blonde saw a "¿" on her computer screen and asked another blonde,
    "How do you do that?" She responded . . .
    "Simple, turn the keyboard upside down!"

    AdChoices

    Ride Free 
    TWEEK

    • 3006 posts
    February 17, 2012 4:32 AM PST
    LOL thanks for the laughs,My ?....does this count for all the bleached blondes ladies too?? hehe..
  • February 17, 2012 4:37 AM PST
    yeah it has to be the bleach that got absorbed by their brain! :-)
  • February 17, 2012 4:41 AM PST
    But what about the sun bleached redheads turned blonde? I do have my moments of blonde-ness! but once a feisty redhead always a feisty redhead!!!
  • February 17, 2012 4:44 AM PST
    the sun cooked your brain? heheheh *ducks*
  • February 17, 2012 5:58 AM PST
    That explains those temporary set backs where all the sudden i stand frozen in time, my face contorted in some freakish looking expression, as people stare at me like I do it on purpose! lmao!!!
    Watch this video...


    http://youtu.be/dCQEarWkrmI
  • February 17, 2012 6:03 AM PST
    I read through these and I laugh.....then I remember I have two daughters that are blondes....and I laugh again!
  • February 17, 2012 6:48 AM PST
    a blonde goes to the auto parts store. tells the counter man she needs a 710 cap, the counter man says "ma'am, there is no such thing" she says yes there is, here look. she hands the man the part in her hand, and as he looks at it. he turns it over. ma"am, you want an "OIL" filler cap.
    • 9 posts
    February 17, 2012 9:02 AM PST

    Ok, to be fair, I AM a "bleached" blonde now, courtesy of a much needed make-over, a year ago.  Do I feel or act "dumber"?  NO!  I suffer from CRS (Can't Remember S--t).  And that has more to do with my age than my haircolor.  That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it!!! 

    Ride Free 
    TWEEK
     




    • 846 posts
    February 17, 2012 10:41 AM PST
    Well what ever your story Tweek thanks for a chuckle today.