Olaf Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, took a
lightning-quick kick from a cow... right in his crotch. Writhing in
agony, he fell to the ground.
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He
Said, “How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek
and my fiancé, Lena, is still a Virgin - in every vay.”
The doctor told him, “Olaf, I'll have to put your willy in a splint
to let it heal & keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but
leave it on there as long as you can.”
He took four tongue depressors & formed a neat little 4 sided
splint & taped it all together... quite an impressive work of art.
Olaf mentioned none of this to Lena, married her & they went
on their honeymoon to Duluth.
That night in the Motel 6, Lena ripped open her blouse to reveal
her beautiful, untouched breasts. She said, “Olaf... you're the
first vun! No vun has EVER seen deez.”
Olaf immediately dropped his pants & replied, “Look at dis Lena
...still in DA CRATE!” 