December 1, 2010 2:14 AM PST
"..Jungle Love.." *********** GateKeeper ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ( ( ( 999 ) ) )
The Ocean Liner Struck A Reef And Sank 100 Yrds From Shore.. All Were Lost Except For One Man Who Swam To
Safety On Shore.. A Week Had Passed Before He Was Finally Alerted And Excited By The Appearance Of A Raft
Moving Closer Towards Him And The Island.. When The Raft Carrying Idividuals Reached Shore, One Of The 3 On
Board Shouted To Him.. Welcome To Our Little Island.. The Suprized Stranger Asked How Long They Had Been
Standed Here.. The Leader Said We Have Been Here For 6 Yrears Now.. But Dont U Worry We Have Everything We
Need To Survive.. Including Sex When We Visit Gorilla Island Which Is Only 2 Hrs From Here By Raft.. Well Says The
Stranger, U Can Have Those Sex Partyies If U Want, But Its Not For Me.. Ok, Says The Leader, If Thats What U Want, Fine..
The Following Evening All The Rafters Kept Themselves Eagerly Busy Washing Thier Hair, Ioning Shirts And Fixing
Themselves Up.. Whats Going On Says The New Guy??..The Veteran Islander Responds.. We're Going Over
To Gorilla Island For Some Fun.. ..Want To Join Us??.. No Says The New Guy, U'll Never Catch Me There Doing
That.. Ok, Says The Leader, And With That Said He And The Others Gingerly Board The Raft And Disappeared Into The
Distant Waters.. A Week Later The Same Behavior Was Observed By The New Gentleman.. I Guess U Guys R Going To
Gorrila Island Again This Evening ??.. Yes We R.. ..Do U Want To Join Us And Party With The Lady Apes??. Ok
Says The New Gent.. Early Evening Arives And Off They Go, All Cleaned And T rimed Out, For A Night With The Lady Apes..
When The Raft Gets To At Least 20yrs From Shore The New Guy In Excitement Dives Into The Water And Swims To Shore
Where The Apes Stood Watching And Waiting For He And Them.. He Reaches Shore And Begins To Chase A Gorilla..
Catching The One Closest To Him.. 1st He Trips Her Up And Quickly Mounts Her And Begins Quenching His Sexual
Appetite.. When The Other Rafter Reach Shore, He Becomes Embaresed And Aware That They All
Are Pokeing Fun And Screaming In Laughter Hystericaly At Him.. He Yells, Hey Whats So Funny??. U Guys Have Been
Coming Here To Gorilla Island For Years Doing It.. Because I Now Do This U Find It Silly.. What's Up With That??..
Well Says The Leader, It Isn't The Fact That U Are Excited Wile Courting A Strage Garrila.. We're Laghing Because You
Picked The Ugliest One Of The Whole Bunch.
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O..UpInSmoke..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Re-Created~Ash To Ashes..
Under Construction.. Always Evolving..
"..Will You Wait For Me??.." **********************************************
December 7, 2010 2:29 PM PST
***************************************** 999 :::::::::::::::::::::: Gate Keeper ............................
"..Viagra Faults.."
I Went To My VA Doctor In Providence, Rode Island And Told Him I Needed Some Viagra Because I Arranged An
Orgy Of Four The Following Sunday Evening With 3 Gorgeous Ladies.. He Told Me I Would Have To Have A
Physical Examination 1st Because Of My Elder Years.. I Passed The Exam.. He Then Handed Me A Bottle Of
Viagra And Warned Me Not To Exceed The Recommended Dosage Or Harm Could Accur.. I Left The Office And
Headed Home.. Sunday Came And By 6pm I Had Swallowed 4 Capsules While Waiting.. Monday Morning
Came Around And I Needed To Be Seen By The Doctor.. When He Came Into The Room And Saw
My Arm In A Full Sling, He Asked What Happened.. I Replied.. Them Ladies Never Showed Up..
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O..UpInSmoke..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Re-Created~Ash To Ashes..
Under Construction.. Always Evolving..
HomeGrown
"..viagra liquidation.." ******************************
$10 I'VE GOT.. CAN I GET $20..
GOIN ONCE GOIN TWICE..
December 7, 2010 4:34 PM PST
***************************
One Of The Surviving Rafters Began Teaching The Gorillas How To Play Golf On The Island.. One Such Ape is
Ready To T Off When He Asked The Guy.. What Am I Suppose To Do??.. See That Round Green Spot About 400
yrds From Here Said The Guy.. Your Supposed To Hit The Ball On To That.. The Gorrila Hauls Off And Wacks The
Ball, And It Goes Screaming Down The Fair Way And Lands On The Green.. The Man Drives His Ball And It Goes
150 yrds, and He Hits An Iron Shot And A Second Iron Shot And Finally Lands On The Green.. The Gorrila Always
Following Closely.. They Get To The Green And The Ape Askes.. What Do I Do Now??.. The Guy Says.. Now U
Hit The Ball Into The Cup.. The Gorrila Retorts.. Why Didn't You Tell Me That In The Begining ??.
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O..UpInSmoke..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Re-Created~Ash To Ashes..
Under Construction.. Always Evolving..
We Race To The Golf Cart!!.. Winer Drives !!..
December 8, 2010 8:15 AM PST
**************************************** 999 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Gate Keeper ................
The C I A Was Accepting Applications For An Assassin.. They Narrowed The Finalists To Two Men And One
Woman Facing One Final Test.. Each Was Given A Gun And Taken To A Room Where The 1st Man Was Told His
Wife Was Behind The Door Facing Him.. U R To Go Into that Room And Kill Your Wife.. The Man Refused And
Droped His Gun And Left.. The Second Guy Was Told His Wife Was Behind Door # 2 And He Must Kill Her.. The
2nd Man Walked To The Door Holding His Gun High.. Grabbing The Door Knob Suddenly He Cries And Falls To His
Knees, No I Can't Do It.. The Woman is Told That Her Husband Is In Room 3 And She Must Kill Him.. She Starts
For The Door Holding The Gun In The Ready.. She Enters And Closes The Door Quickly.. Six Shots Could Be
Heard Coming from the Other Side Of That Door.. Then Screaming, Banging Walls, And Crashing Sounds Were
Heard From Inside And Then Complete Silence.. The Door Opens Slowly And Out Comes The Woman.. Wiping
The Sweat From Her Brow She Say's.. Some Idiot Loaded The Gun With Blanks??.. I Had To Strangle Him..
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O..UpInSmoke..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Re-Created~Ash To Ashes..
Under Construction.. Always Evolving.. ************************ % % % %
December 9, 2010 9:41 AM PST
******************************
Remindes Me Of The Time The Farmer Out In Westport, Mass. Came Upon His Son Scewing A Cow In The Barn,, Quickly The Farmer Drives Into
Nearby New Bedford, Mass And Hires A Prostitute Saying.. Go To My Farm On Hix Ville Road And Have My Son Ball U, Here's $50.. U Get Another
$50 When The Job's Done.. She Arrives At The Farm And Just As The Father Stated She Sees A Young Man Standing On Top Of The Wheel Barrel,
Pants Down And Pumping Away.. She Approaches And Says.. Can I Help U??.. He Looks At Her And Says No.. She Removes Her Top Layer Of
Clothing Leaveing On Only Bra And Panties.. Can I Assist U Now W/ A Big Smile On Her Face.. He Glances And Responds, No Thanks And
Continues Gyrating.. By This Time She Is Hot And Determined, And Peals The Remaining Garments.. Let Me Help U Please.. He sIZES The Sexy
Dish Displaying Sweet Treats And Shouts.. Ok.. Ok.. Wheel Me To The Next Cow..
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O.. UpInSmoke..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
HomeGrown
Under Construction.. Always Evolving..
"..Amber Alert.."
..Cow Abducted..
December 9, 2010 11:51 PM PST
********************************************* Gatekeeper::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 999 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
An 80yr Old Couple Having Problems Remembering Things Go To The Doctor To Check Themselves Out.. They
Describe To The Doctor The Problems Each Of Them Are Having With Their Memory.. The Doctor Examines Them
Both And Announces That There Is Nothing Seriously Wrong But They Should Start Writing Things Down To Help
Them Remember Stuff.. They Leave The Office And Head For Home.. That Evening The Gentleman Get's Off The
Couch And Heads For The Kitchen.. She Asked Him To Bring Her A Dish Of Ice Cream While He Was In There..
He Replies "Sure".. She Tells Him "Write That Down Like The Doctor Suggested So You Don't Forget".. He Replies "No, I Can
Remember That Myself".. "Please Put Some Whipped Cream On It Too.. Your Going To Forget, So You Better Write
That Down Please", She Added.. He Replies "I Don't Need To I Can Remember That Too".. "Well" She Says "Please
Include Some Strawberries On Top And Be Sure To Write This All Down In Case You Forget".." I Can Remember".. "I
Don't Need To Write That Down" He Says With Much Irritation In His Voice.. He Fumes Into The Kitchen And
Returns 20min Later Carrying A Plate Of Bacon And Eggs And A Cup Of Orange Juice Along With A Cup Of Hot
Coffee And Sets The Dish Before Her, And Says "There You Go Sweet Heart Enjoy".. She Slowly Looks At The
Placement And Begins To Frown.. "It's Nice To Have You Serve Me Breakfast, But I Can See We Have A Problem
Here.. You Forgot The Toast"..
****************************************
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O..UpInSmoke..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Re-Created~Ash To Ashes..
Under Construction.. Always Evolving..
December 10, 2010 11:26 PM PST
************* Gatekeeper ;;;;;; ;;;;; 999 ,,,,,,,,,
A Group Of Alcoholic Turtles Went On A Picnic In The Swamps Of North Dartmouth, Mass Carrying A Picnic
Basket And A 6 Pack Of Duff Beer.. It Took Them 10 Days To Reach The Shore Of Their Favorite Puddle.. When
They Arrived One Of The Elders Realized The Bottle Opener Was Not In The Basket And Had Been Forgotten Back
At The Reserve.. He Ordered The Smallest Turtle To Go Back And Retrieve The Church Key.. The Little Turtle
Said.. No, As Soon As I Leave You'll Start Without Me.. All The Turtles Anxiously Assured Him, That Wouldn't
Happen.. With Much Hesitation The Suspicious One Finally Gives In And Starts Heading Back In The Direction They All Came From..
10 Days Passed, Then 20 Days And Finally On The 30th Day The Gang Decided He Must Have Gotten Run Over
Crossing, Cross Rd In Nth Dartmouth Mass By Beach Goers Headed For HorseNeck Beach In Westport, Mass..
They Opened The Basket And Begin To Eat.. Finishing Up With His Sandwitch The Elder Grabs The Six Pack Of Duff And Separates One Can From
The Pack.. Holding It To His Teeth He Manages To Pierce The Can Top.. " Pa-tisssh " Sounded The Can.. With That
Out From Behind A Rock Comes The Small Turtle Screeching.. ..See, I Knew It.. That's Why I'm Not Going
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O..UpInSmoke..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Re-Created~Ash To Ashes..
Under Construction.. Always Evolving..
December 14, 2010 8:14 PM PST
*************************** GateKeeper ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; 999 ...
"..Beat Feet To A Different DrumStick.."
One Day An East Coast Biker While Riding Through The Freetown State Forest, In The Area Of The Infamous
Bridgewater Triangle, Was Sudenly Passed By A Four Legged Chicken.. The Biker Flexed The Throttle Wide Open..
Roaring Loudly The Machine Atempted To Catch Up To The Foul, But Even At 50 mph The Hen Remain Far Ahead..
After Running A Couple Of Miles The Chicken Finally Runs Down A Lane That Leads To A Farm.. The Chicken Runs
Into The Barn And Behind A Tractor.. The Biker Rode Up To The Farm House And Knocked On The Door.. He Told The Farmer
What He Saw Running Into The Barn.. The Farmer Replied That His Son Was A Genetisit And Had Developed This New Breed
Of Chicken With 4 Legs So He, His Wife, And Two Sons Could Each Have Their Own Drumstick.. The Biker Said, "Wow Thats
Fantastic, How Do They Taste"??.. The Farmer Replied.. " I Dont Know, We Cant Catch Him "..
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O.. UpInSmoke..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Re-Created~Ash To Ashes..
Under Construction.. Always Evolving..
December 14, 2010 8:16 PM PST
*********** GateKeeper ;;;; 999 ,,,,
A Texan Golfer Was Sitting In The Clubhouse When His Friend Asked Him How His Game Went
That Day.. The Golfer Replied, " It Was Terrible.. On The Sixteenth Hole I Sliced A Shot, Sharp
And Wild And It Headed Into The Freeway Hitting A Bus, Breaking A Windshield And Forcing A Golf
Tee To Pierce A Biker Traveling In Front .. The Bus Ran Off The Road And Flipped Over Throwing
Passengers Out Onto The Highway And All Around The Merideian ".. That's Awful You Must Be
Shaken Up From That Experience And Not Being Able To Do Anything.. How Do You Feel About The
Ordeal "??.. He Asked.. With Much Hesitation The Texan Finaly Replies.. "Well, I Think I Should
Close My Stance And Shorten My Back-swing"..
******** ********
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O..UpInSmoke..
~ ~ ~
Re-Created~Ash To Ashes..
Under Construction.. Always Evolving..
~ ~ ~
Cought Leaveing The Scene On His Moped
Claimed The Golf Tee Was In-Descant..
In Texas Everything Is Big
December 24, 2010 6:57 AM PST
".. Baffled Biker.."
~ ~ ~
While Directing Traffic In Busy Downtown Boston A Patrolman Noticed A Chimp Walking Quickly Amongst The Pedestrians.. He Was
Being Pushed And Bumped By Scurrying Shoppers Doing Their Last Minute Purchases And Nearly Knocking It Down.. The Policeman Ran
To The Monkey And Picked It Up.. Again Hurrying He Runs Up To A Biker Idling In Traffic And Places The Monkey In The Bikers Side Car..
With That The Cop Says.. Quick, Take This Monkey To The Zoo..RIGHT NOW.. You Bet Says The Good Samaritan.. The Biker Accelerates
And Speeds Off Into The Distants And Onto The Express Way.. 2 Hours Pass When Suddenly The Policeman Sees The Biker In Traffic
Coming Back Towards Him.. As The Pair Reach Him, He Observes The Chimp Seated In The Side Car Straped For Safety And Eating
Popcorn.. What The Hell Is Going On ??.. Asked The Patrolman.. Didn't I Tell You To Take This Monkey To The Zoo??.. Looking Puzzled
And Confused The Biker Replied.. I Did Just As You Said Officer.. We Went To The Zoo As You Suggested.. Now We're Going To
The Fenway Park And Watch The Red Sox Play Against The New York Yanks..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ % %%%
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O..UpInSmoke..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Re-Created~Ash To Ashes..
Under Constuction.. Always Evolving..
".. Motor Monk Mike.."
December 31, 2010 3:11 AM PST
January 10, 2011 5:12 AM PST
***** 999 ;;;; Gatekeeper ,,,
"..Facial Attraction.."
~ ~ ~
Tit For Tat
In An Elderly Biker Retirement Community Nestle In Wareham, Mass An 80yr Old Dominate Woman Waited Patiently For
Her Husband To Arrive At The Activity Center.. An Hr Had Passed And Still No Sign Of Him.. Frustrated Spaning The
Day Room Suspiciously, Noticing That No Other Males Where There.. When At Last He
Arrived She Yelled.. "Where The Hell Have You Been".. He Responds, "
I Went To The Electric Shop To De-Magnetize My Dentures As The Staff Hinted..
Why The Heck Would They Have You Do That ??.. She Asked.. "Well, Dolly, Our Physical Therapist,
Had Her Nipples Pierced, And As A Precaution All Metal Dentures Are To Be Demagnetized.. His Wife
Replied, "Ok, I Understand.. So Where's The Rest Of The Boys" ??.. He Responds, "They Went To The Dentist,
Replacing Thier Plastic Dentures For Metal "..
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O.. UpInSmoke..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
..Re-Created.. Ash To Ashes ..
% % % % %
Under Construction.. Always Evolving ~ ~ ~ HomeGrown ~ ~ ~
January 15, 2011 11:02 AM PST
* * * GateKeeper ~ ~ ~ ( ( 999 ) ) ~ ~ ~
One Biker Talking To Another Ederly Biker In A Biker Bar Says.. Tell Me Again Pops How You Broke Your Leg.. The Retired Gent
Chimes Off.. Well 2yrs Ago I Needed To Rent A Room.. I Knocked On This Farmers Door.. He Told Me I Had To Share His
Daughter's Room.. I Said No Problem And Headed Up Stairs.. I Went To Bed And Quickly Fell asleep.. While Deeply Sleeping
I Was Suddenly Startled Awake By Her Voice Asking Me, If I'd Like To Do Anything To Her..Drowsy I Said No.. Is There Anything
That You Would Like Of Me To Do For You ?? She Asked Again.. I Hazily Responded, Nope.. Once Again She Asked If I Was
Sure.. I Whispered Drogyly Yes, I'm Sure.. The Junior Biker Getting Irritated Interrupts In A Strained Voice .. Whats That got To
Do With Breaking Your Leg ??.. The old Timer Recanted Well Last Week I Was Traveling Along 12 Mile Drive In Newport,
Rode Island Riding Along The Castle Coast Ledge Road.. I Was Well Into A Sharp Curve When Suddenly I Lost Control..
The Young Biker Now Confused With New Unrelated Info Barks.. So, Whats 2yrs Ago Have To Do With Last Week's Accident ??..
The Old Biker Reflects For A Minute And Recalls.. Well it Was Right Then And There At That Sharp Twisting Turn It Dawned On
Me What She Meant When She Said.. "..U Should Think About It Hard.."
. . . . . .%%%%%%%%%% . . . . .
Thank U.. Thank U Very Much..
John Gz S..o0O..UpInSmoke..
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
..Re-Created.. Ash To Ashes..
Under Construction.. Always Evolving
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~