I’m a modern day biker, got a scooter to prove it,
Got ink on my arm, took 5 minutes to choose it.
My putt she’s a beauty 40 grand worth of chrome,
I didn’t know now how to ride her, so I trailered her home.
I bought her on credit, accessories up the wazoo,
Bought some worn chaps and a leather jacket on HD credit too.
I got me some apes, about 3 feet tall
They’re way over my head, can’t reach them at all.
Big carb and big cam, big tire to boot,
But I pray she don’t break cuz I can’t fix my own scoot.
Couple falls, couple crashes another 5 grand in fix’n
Now I got my permit just can’t take my little vixen.
My ol lady she’s a hottie, she’ll be 18 in June,
She loves all the chrome and now gives me the poon.
I wear a bandana, all folded and pressed,
No helmet for me, I ride to impress.
I got me an attitude, I’m the baddest in town,
But I check it at the door when real patchers are around.
I bought a big knife but I leave it at home,
I wore it out once but got in the way of my phone.
I call my friends “bro” now, they got new scooters too
We think we need an oil changed, just no sure how to.
I watch Pauly and Cody and Vinny and Senior
But I love Mikey the most, he’s the freaking ring leader.
And don’t forget Jessie and his West Coast Choppers,
Building every bikers dream, 50 thousand dollar bar hoppers.
I won’t ride to Sturgis, man that’s way too far
I’ll just load up the trailer and tow with the car.
I’ll stay in a motel, five stars there’s no doubt
One with great food and were credit has clout.
I will trailer near town then jump in with some scooters
1200 miles to drool at some girl with fake hooters.
I might get my ear pierced or another tattoo
Of skulls or of dagger or maybe F**k U
If the ol lady don’t like it and thinks I’m a dope
No problems here, it’ll wash off with soap
Sleep on the ground! You’re kidding me right?
Next thing you’ll want me to do is stay up n party all night.
I’ll buy me a patch that says “I RODE MINE THERE”
Who the hells gonna know, it’s a lie but who cares.
Ride to live, live to ride, I got riden in my veins,
Except when it’s too hot or too cold or windy or it rains.
Yea, I’m a modern day biker, you got something to say?
Send me an email, I’ll answer someday.
December 7, 2009 11:57 PM PST
Sadly there is far too much truth in this.
December 8, 2009 12:48 AM PST
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY To much truth..
December 8, 2009 1:10 AM PST
With these guys.
December 8, 2009 1:22 AM PST
I've seen way to many of these types and unfortunately know a few.
December 8, 2009 1:35 AM PST
While very funny also sad but true!
From the bible :
"Judge not the man by his motorcycle, but judge the motorcycle by the man! "
's true...honest !
December 8, 2009 3:39 AM PST
Damn I know that guy!
December 8, 2009 8:21 AM PST
I know them too! I live 60 miles from Sturgis and I see people trailer from here! Toooo Funny! Sooo Sad!
December 8, 2009 9:15 AM PST
i know someone like that!............wus! he tell us if it isnt 80 and sunny he's not riding!
December 8, 2009 9:25 AM PST
You cant stand a little weather you will never ride in Montana.Gotta say who the hell rides a 50k bike anyway?I could use a loan lol!
December 8, 2009 9:37 AM PST
Hell, I like going to the local bar when it's raining, I can park right by the door. I don't mind getting wet as long as it saves me some walkin' (those who know me, know how true that is)
December 8, 2009 9:43 AM PST
But when they're tired of dustin' them off or need space for new toys you can steal the bikes
December 8, 2009 10:22 AM PST
Wannabes seem to be more the norm anymore...........
December 9, 2009 1:58 AM PST
Hell, I like going to the local bar when it's raining, I can park right by the door. I don't mind getting wet as long as it saves me some walkin' (those who know me, know how true that is)
Holy crap! If you did not ride in the rain in Ireland then you would have maybe two days of the year where you could ride. Even during the summer you could leave home and ten minutes later it could be raining cats and dogs.
During the summer we had a BBQ and we had fantastic sunshine while friends of ours came from a thunder, lightening and hail storm less than 30 minutes away!
December 9, 2009 8:42 AM PST
What kind of suit do you wear to protect yourself from pouring cats and dogs lol!Kevlar?
December 9, 2009 9:12 AM PST
I figure I'm not the only one that has seen people unloading bikes on the side of I-90 a few miles outside Rapid City or Sturgis,so they can ride into town looking all bad...lol. I had always heard about such things,but was amazed when I saw it first hand.
December 9, 2009 12:16 PM PST
Nice poem. Aparently I'm not a 'modern' biker. I'm cool with that.
December 9, 2009 1:29 PM PST
But when they're tired of dustin' them off or need space for new toys you can steal the bikes
im hoping i can find one to get as my first one lol
December 9, 2009 3:06 PM PST
I road to Sturgis this year on a Japanese bike. Didnt have any problems, Worst I heard was, oh, too bad, guy cant afford a Harley, I think more people road there bikes this year because of the economy and didnt want to spend the extra money on gasoline a truck and trailer would take
December 9, 2009 3:15 PM PST
Have to ride in the rain, I live in Western Washington, my boss is one of them, treats his vet the same way, low hours and miles.
December 9, 2009 5:59 PM PST
What kind of suit do you wear to protect yourself from pouring cats and dogs lol!Kevlar?
A kennel and basket!
December 10, 2009 3:59 AM PST
20 degrees when I rode into work this morning. We've got a guy in the other office that won't ride if it gets lower than 60 outside.
December 10, 2009 8:29 AM PST
ya'll need to go to
www.badpig.com and get one of those "Nice Trailer, Pussy" T shirts to wear next year for Sturgis, Daytona, Fayetteville or anywhere else they trailer bikes to. Been riding bikes since 1970 and the only trailer I had to use was the Harley trailer to get my bike back to the Macon Ga. Dealership when it blew the back jug on I-75, South of Macon.....Ride Safe...
June 24, 2011 3:48 PM PDT
great post !!! sad yet true,for me if I didnt ride it all the way to the rally n back, its like I never even went.
