An 75-year-old biker was told by his 
Doctor that he would need a sperm sample as part of his yearly checkup.

The doctor gave the bike jockey a  jar and said, 'Take
this jar home and bring back a semen sample
tomorrow.' 

The next day the 75-year-old man reappeared
at the doctor's office and gave him the  jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the 
previous day. 

The doctor asked what happened and the man
explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing.. 

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. 
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, still  nothing. 

She even called up Arleen, the lady next door
and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your 
neighbor?'   

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get
the damn jar open..'

Nice one you had me going for a while.

yea...i saw that one coming.......