September 15, 2010 1:29 PM PDT
Drunk...For those of you who know me ,you probably wont be suprised. One sunny saturday afternoon the boys all turn up at my place for a BB&S session(beer bullshit&Stupidity).One of my mates lets call this genius "Shithead" in this story decided to bring along his 5 year old son and a yamaha peewee 50 mini bike. Before too long the kid got sick of ripping up my lawn and the big kids start eyeing off the peewee. As drunken Aussies tend to do, someone says "watch this" and starts tearing up and down the street on the peewee.Great fun! As we get drunker the pissing for distance antics escalate and it turns into a time trial around the block..We all take turns at drinking beer and racing around the block like overgrown 5 year olds with balance issues.By late afternoon we've set some impressive times and ,for some reason money gets involved.Yes we are gambling on who is quickest around the block on a peewee 50 ,who's 5 yearold owner is now very pissed off that his Dads dickhead mates are destroying his pride and joy.I send him inside for ice cream so we can finish the racing in peace. So once again its my ride,I'm in the zone,ready to race as ive ever been. Decked out in my good racing cowboy had a pair of flip flops a singlet and shorts off i go on my all time PB lap to beat all the other drunken idiots..Down the street i flew screaming along , wringing my plucky little steeds throat to get the best performance possible . Crouching down to be as aerodynamic as possible. Through the first bend absolutely flying leaning over and nearly dragging a knee GP style i was in for a good lap,just have to make the corner onto the main road stick ....Flat out engine screaming i lean to take it as tight and fast as i can......................BANG CRASH OH SHIT! the left hand footpeg dug into the ashphalt throwing me into the path of an approaching car...A police car. They stop in time as not to run me over, sometimes i wish they had of. Get out and put thier hats on in that way cops do when they arent f#cking around anymore. Walk over to my battered and road rashed body, and start to piss themselves laughing at my misfortune.I am promptly told to get up and carry the bloody minibike home..So i picked up the bent little racer and started walking up the street, with the cop car following me with its lights on..Strangely when my so called mates saw the cops they all decided they had something better to do in the backyard...I got road rash,bent a kids peewee 50 and got called a big dickhead by 2 cops..But my mates said i was a bloody legend and before the crash was well on the way for the fastest lap of the day.